I feel like today was badly dressed day in New York City. Everywhere I turned there was someone else who looked like they got dressed in the dark. New York is certainly a place where you see a lot of eccentric fashion, so I am not referring to people who were dressed crazy, but just people dressed badly. Here were a few of my favorites:
-Heavyset man with long bowl haircut like Peg from the SNL Target sketch. Hair is dyed red. Matched with a too tight untucked white dress shirt and bolo tie.
-Lady wearing a jacket, tank top and pants that are all too short on her, like she was 5'3 one day and woke up the next day 5'8 and still had to wear the same suit
-Man wearing a suit with such slim cut pants that I could unfortunately give you a description of his balls. Ick.
-Cute chunky asian girl wearing a dress so short you could almost see the bottom of her butt. And it was not a good look.
And then tonight, on a totally non-fashion related note, I think there was a narcoleptic man on the train in front of me. Because four minutes after he showed his ticket stub to the conductor, he was falling out of his seat, asleep, like hanging out into the aisle the way a dead person would be. I actually thought for a minute he was dead. He was obscuring the aisle with his pitched over sleeping. And he was dressed in a business suit. But when he woke up, I did see he was clutching a beer can. He didn't smell beer-ish, but I am still not sure. Either narcoleptic or drunk. Or both.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Ooops, I Cut Your Grass
So Brian called me the other day at a time he doesn't normally call (for the record, we're weird and regularly call each other around 11 am and 3:30 pm every day) so I asked if everything was ok.
He asked me if I had hired someone to mow our lawn. This wasn't out of the question as questions go, since we had, that very week, discussed the immediate need to have our lawn mowed. We were going to try it out once to see how much it cost and how long it lasted, because although it would be much cheaper to buy a lawn mower, our lawn is REALLY BIG. And yes, I am trying to brag. Because seriously, in Westchester, especially our area of our town, you do not get a big lawn. Yet we have one. A huge one, which means mowing it would take like 4 hours (ok, maybe not that long, I've never mowed a lawn before so I don't really know).
But no, I had not yet hired anyone to mow our lawn, and told him so. "Well, somebody mowed our lawn." He told me. He was dumbfounded. The whole thing had been done, back, front, sides, plants and flowers tended to, etc. Then he looked over at our next door neighbor's lawn, which was also beautifully groomed. He started wondering if that was coincidence. Then he checked our mailbox and found a business card from a local landscapers that said "Ooops! Enjoy your lawn!"
At first I thought it was a genius marketing strategy, that they mowed our lawn once for free because they knew we'd recently moved to the area and were trying to get our business. I mean, it worked too, because I am going to call them to arrange for a new appointment. But actually, we got further details later that night when our next door neighbor came over (his last name is Fuji, and every time I say it, I think of the Fugees, like Lauryn Hill, Wyclef and Pras live next door to us). So Mr. Fuji (we are so blanking on his first name, and since we totally want to become friends with him, we are hoping we remember it soon) says that apparently the landscaping company mistook our house for his and did the special "spring cleaning" service on it. Which apparently is quite pricely.
So dude, seriously, on the same week in which we determined that our grass was way too long and needed to call a landscaper, a landscaping service ACCIDENTALLY came and groomed our entire lawn. Do you know what I call that? Awesome.
He asked me if I had hired someone to mow our lawn. This wasn't out of the question as questions go, since we had, that very week, discussed the immediate need to have our lawn mowed. We were going to try it out once to see how much it cost and how long it lasted, because although it would be much cheaper to buy a lawn mower, our lawn is REALLY BIG. And yes, I am trying to brag. Because seriously, in Westchester, especially our area of our town, you do not get a big lawn. Yet we have one. A huge one, which means mowing it would take like 4 hours (ok, maybe not that long, I've never mowed a lawn before so I don't really know).
But no, I had not yet hired anyone to mow our lawn, and told him so. "Well, somebody mowed our lawn." He told me. He was dumbfounded. The whole thing had been done, back, front, sides, plants and flowers tended to, etc. Then he looked over at our next door neighbor's lawn, which was also beautifully groomed. He started wondering if that was coincidence. Then he checked our mailbox and found a business card from a local landscapers that said "Ooops! Enjoy your lawn!"
At first I thought it was a genius marketing strategy, that they mowed our lawn once for free because they knew we'd recently moved to the area and were trying to get our business. I mean, it worked too, because I am going to call them to arrange for a new appointment. But actually, we got further details later that night when our next door neighbor came over (his last name is Fuji, and every time I say it, I think of the Fugees, like Lauryn Hill, Wyclef and Pras live next door to us). So Mr. Fuji (we are so blanking on his first name, and since we totally want to become friends with him, we are hoping we remember it soon) says that apparently the landscaping company mistook our house for his and did the special "spring cleaning" service on it. Which apparently is quite pricely.
So dude, seriously, on the same week in which we determined that our grass was way too long and needed to call a landscaper, a landscaping service ACCIDENTALLY came and groomed our entire lawn. Do you know what I call that? Awesome.
Monday, April 27, 2009
We are so in Barbeque
So remember when I started this blog, and it was about how the bonus my office is planning on giving was going to go to a Barbeque, or at least that was my husband's plan? Well, as it turns out, the bonus is going to go to a designer purse instead, yay!
No, it's not because I am a terrible harpy of a wife and have decided against the BBQ plan. It's just that what with that last blog about unicorns and all, we decided we'd put some money from our tax refund to a new BBQ. And then my fabulous sister (and perhaps sole reader of this blog) and her husband actually chipped in for it as a house warming gift. And then gave us possibly the sweetest BBQ tool set known to man.
We've had this BBQ for like, 2 weeks maybe, and so far my husband has already cooked us hamburgers and hotdogs, bbq chicken, and even leg of lamb. And I have a feeling that's just the beginning. In a word, my husband is OBSESSED with our new acquisition.
He is so happy that it's warm enough for us to grill, although he says he'll be grilling in winter too. I am happy that he's happy, and I am happy that it's warm because now people are having garage sales! Although we have a BBQ, and are buying a fence, and hopefully getting a doggie, there isn't a vast river of money flowing around us. So I am hoping to supplement some of the empty spaces in our house with yard sale purchases.
I went on my first forage this weekend and came back with a very cool hunter green cabinet that I think will work really well in our dining room. I also got a very cute drawing of cats (its not as cheesy as it sounds) that is in a hunter green wood frame. Two different sales, and I find two hunter green things, random! But I got great prices and hopefully I will be to find more stuff that we need for the house, like a bistro set for the patio and a comfy chair for my office.
As for the designer bag, let's just say that the designery-ness of said bag will have a lot to do with whether the bonus is walmart worthy or marc jacobs-ly delicious.
No, it's not because I am a terrible harpy of a wife and have decided against the BBQ plan. It's just that what with that last blog about unicorns and all, we decided we'd put some money from our tax refund to a new BBQ. And then my fabulous sister (and perhaps sole reader of this blog) and her husband actually chipped in for it as a house warming gift. And then gave us possibly the sweetest BBQ tool set known to man.
We've had this BBQ for like, 2 weeks maybe, and so far my husband has already cooked us hamburgers and hotdogs, bbq chicken, and even leg of lamb. And I have a feeling that's just the beginning. In a word, my husband is OBSESSED with our new acquisition.
He is so happy that it's warm enough for us to grill, although he says he'll be grilling in winter too. I am happy that he's happy, and I am happy that it's warm because now people are having garage sales! Although we have a BBQ, and are buying a fence, and hopefully getting a doggie, there isn't a vast river of money flowing around us. So I am hoping to supplement some of the empty spaces in our house with yard sale purchases.
I went on my first forage this weekend and came back with a very cool hunter green cabinet that I think will work really well in our dining room. I also got a very cute drawing of cats (its not as cheesy as it sounds) that is in a hunter green wood frame. Two different sales, and I find two hunter green things, random! But I got great prices and hopefully I will be to find more stuff that we need for the house, like a bistro set for the patio and a comfy chair for my office.
As for the designer bag, let's just say that the designery-ness of said bag will have a lot to do with whether the bonus is walmart worthy or marc jacobs-ly delicious.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
No One In the Club has Swagger Like Us
Brian and I speak to each other in quotes. I don't mean that we use air quotes, like Chris Farley in his "van down by the river" speeches from SNL. I mean that we hear quotes that we just love from movies, tv shows, commercials, and songs, and then we just can't stop saying them to each other, over and over and over and over again. I suspect a lot of couple speak to each other in this kind of language. My parents had some quotes that I never even knew were from pop culture until I was an adult.
Apparently many of my parents quotes came from Monty Python, including "Not the comfy chair!" They also peppered in SNL references "Cheeburger, Cheeburger, Cheeburger" and of course the ever repeated misheard song lyrics like "Two American kids growing up, in a garbage can" (from Jack & Diane by John Cougar Mellencamp).
Brian and I have quotes that are primarily comprised of rap lyrics and Will Ferrell movies. For example, several from Anchorman: "Don't act like you're not impressed" and "Baxter, you know I don't speak Spanish" and "Go back to your home on Whore Island."
And then there are the rap quotes. I am really really cheesy and still have to tell people "So take off all your clothes" whenever they say "It's hot in here" (I know, I'm like ten years too late on that one, thanks a lot Nelly).
One of our most recent favorites comes from a T.I. song. Brian and I downloaded T.I.'s album after we realized that he was the rapper on two recent radio songs we liked "Whatever You Like" and "Live Your Life" (with Rihanna). T.I. has some pretty interesting lyrics. Not like Fugee quality intelligence, but cool none the less. I am not even going to get into the extremely naughty actual main chorus lyrics to "Whatever You Like" which give the song a FAR different meaning than the radio version does. Hint: "Treat you so special so nice" is replaced by "Late night sex so blank and so blank" (it doesn't exactly rhyme with special and nice, but it does rhyme with "bet" and "light" (come on, you can do it!).
But anyway, the oft quoted song in question is actually "Swagger Like Us." First of all, because I am like six months behind in what is hip, I didn't know until I finally downloaded awesome female rapper M.I.A.'s album today that "Swagger Like Us" is sampled from her very awesome song "Paper Planes" (which you might recognize from Pineapple Express, another movie we have started quoting).
Ok, but I digress. So the line in Swagger Like Us is not even said by T.I. The song features 3 other rappers: Kanye West (who has really creative lyrics on his albums), Lil Wayne (who I can't take seriously because he is like five feet tall and has a tear tattoo on his face) and the always loveable senior, Jay Z. Jay Z is actually the quote deliverer. He says "Can't wear skinny jeans cause my knots don't fit." When I heard this the first time, I totally thought he said "Can't wear skinny jeans cause my nuts don't fit". Which totally makes sense. If you have giant balls, it would be tough to wear skinny jeans. And then even after I realized it was knots, I still thought maybe knots was code for balls. But apparently knots refers to a large bank roll. So he's saying that he carries around too much money in a bankroll in his pants to fit into skinny jeans (which I guess, is the financial equivalent of having big balls).
For some reason though, Brian and I find this endlessly enjoyable to say to each other. We can work it into normal conversation with ease. That's the best - you've got to slip in your funny quotes so they just glide with the conversation, then they are funnier. Which means I can't slip one in now, because you'd be expecting it. Unless I said that we could play a little game called just the tip. Do you know where that one was from?
Apparently many of my parents quotes came from Monty Python, including "Not the comfy chair!" They also peppered in SNL references "Cheeburger, Cheeburger, Cheeburger" and of course the ever repeated misheard song lyrics like "Two American kids growing up, in a garbage can" (from Jack & Diane by John Cougar Mellencamp).
Brian and I have quotes that are primarily comprised of rap lyrics and Will Ferrell movies. For example, several from Anchorman: "Don't act like you're not impressed" and "Baxter, you know I don't speak Spanish" and "Go back to your home on Whore Island."
And then there are the rap quotes. I am really really cheesy and still have to tell people "So take off all your clothes" whenever they say "It's hot in here" (I know, I'm like ten years too late on that one, thanks a lot Nelly).
One of our most recent favorites comes from a T.I. song. Brian and I downloaded T.I.'s album after we realized that he was the rapper on two recent radio songs we liked "Whatever You Like" and "Live Your Life" (with Rihanna). T.I. has some pretty interesting lyrics. Not like Fugee quality intelligence, but cool none the less. I am not even going to get into the extremely naughty actual main chorus lyrics to "Whatever You Like" which give the song a FAR different meaning than the radio version does. Hint: "Treat you so special so nice" is replaced by "Late night sex so blank and so blank" (it doesn't exactly rhyme with special and nice, but it does rhyme with "bet" and "light" (come on, you can do it!).
But anyway, the oft quoted song in question is actually "Swagger Like Us." First of all, because I am like six months behind in what is hip, I didn't know until I finally downloaded awesome female rapper M.I.A.'s album today that "Swagger Like Us" is sampled from her very awesome song "Paper Planes" (which you might recognize from Pineapple Express, another movie we have started quoting).
Ok, but I digress. So the line in Swagger Like Us is not even said by T.I. The song features 3 other rappers: Kanye West (who has really creative lyrics on his albums), Lil Wayne (who I can't take seriously because he is like five feet tall and has a tear tattoo on his face) and the always loveable senior, Jay Z. Jay Z is actually the quote deliverer. He says "Can't wear skinny jeans cause my knots don't fit." When I heard this the first time, I totally thought he said "Can't wear skinny jeans cause my nuts don't fit". Which totally makes sense. If you have giant balls, it would be tough to wear skinny jeans. And then even after I realized it was knots, I still thought maybe knots was code for balls. But apparently knots refers to a large bank roll. So he's saying that he carries around too much money in a bankroll in his pants to fit into skinny jeans (which I guess, is the financial equivalent of having big balls).
For some reason though, Brian and I find this endlessly enjoyable to say to each other. We can work it into normal conversation with ease. That's the best - you've got to slip in your funny quotes so they just glide with the conversation, then they are funnier. Which means I can't slip one in now, because you'd be expecting it. Unless I said that we could play a little game called just the tip. Do you know where that one was from?
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Tax reurn=fence=dog? Unicorn taking flight!
When Brian and I were house shopping, my sister was positively insistent that we consider the school district of the house we were buying. Brian and I are not parents, and we don't plan on having kids for a couple of years. So the idea of having to find a house in a good school district didn't seem so important. Say we had a kid in three years from now. Kids don't start kindergarden until they are five, so that would be eight full years from now. Who knew if we'd even be living in the house we chose in eight years?
At first Brian and I resisted - on our first day out we'd seen some lovely houses in New Rochelle that turned out to be zoned for a terrible school, and I mean really terrible. If we had to consider school district, those houses were out along with a bunch of others on our list. The whole idea seemed so bizarre, that we had to consider these non-existent mythical future creatures (which I had now taken to calling unicorns for their mythic status) when house shopping. But the more we thought about it, the more sense it did actually make. After all, it's much harder to sell a house in a bad school district. For that reason alone it was worth it to try.
Another thing that I looked at when we were house shopping was backyards and their dog worthiness. I commented on it so much the first day that our real estate agent asked what kind of dog we had. But our dog too, was just a hypothetical. So we were looking for a house that had a good school for our unicorn children and a good backyard for our unicorn dog. And we found said house, in a school district so good they apparently teach them foreign language in elementary school! And our backyard is the biggest backyard imaginable, like, so big you could build an addition, then put in a pool, and still have room for your unicorn dog and your unicorn children to run around in.
Ok, so moving on. We just found that the government is going to be kind to us this year and we will get a bit of a refund. More than a bit really, enough so that I think we may be able to afford to fence in our beautiful enormous yard. Which is a fabulous thing, because we've really been wanting to get a doggie now for a while, and thought we might have to put up like a zip line thingy for the dog to run on from his leash, since we couldn't afford a fence. But now, if we get a fence, then our unicorn doggie can fully materialize into an actual real life doggie and run free and happy in our wonderful yard.
Needless to say, I am excited. We are going to get a pound doggie, so we're assuming it will be a mutt, but mutts are cool. If it was pure breed, some of our faves are chocolate labs and shiba inus (but how many shiba inus show up at the pound?). Some other mixes that I wouldn't mind getting into a dog are a sheltie, australian cattle dog, and many other lovely combinations of doggie. So I'll keep you updated.
At first Brian and I resisted - on our first day out we'd seen some lovely houses in New Rochelle that turned out to be zoned for a terrible school, and I mean really terrible. If we had to consider school district, those houses were out along with a bunch of others on our list. The whole idea seemed so bizarre, that we had to consider these non-existent mythical future creatures (which I had now taken to calling unicorns for their mythic status) when house shopping. But the more we thought about it, the more sense it did actually make. After all, it's much harder to sell a house in a bad school district. For that reason alone it was worth it to try.
Another thing that I looked at when we were house shopping was backyards and their dog worthiness. I commented on it so much the first day that our real estate agent asked what kind of dog we had. But our dog too, was just a hypothetical. So we were looking for a house that had a good school for our unicorn children and a good backyard for our unicorn dog. And we found said house, in a school district so good they apparently teach them foreign language in elementary school! And our backyard is the biggest backyard imaginable, like, so big you could build an addition, then put in a pool, and still have room for your unicorn dog and your unicorn children to run around in.
Ok, so moving on. We just found that the government is going to be kind to us this year and we will get a bit of a refund. More than a bit really, enough so that I think we may be able to afford to fence in our beautiful enormous yard. Which is a fabulous thing, because we've really been wanting to get a doggie now for a while, and thought we might have to put up like a zip line thingy for the dog to run on from his leash, since we couldn't afford a fence. But now, if we get a fence, then our unicorn doggie can fully materialize into an actual real life doggie and run free and happy in our wonderful yard.
Needless to say, I am excited. We are going to get a pound doggie, so we're assuming it will be a mutt, but mutts are cool. If it was pure breed, some of our faves are chocolate labs and shiba inus (but how many shiba inus show up at the pound?). Some other mixes that I wouldn't mind getting into a dog are a sheltie, australian cattle dog, and many other lovely combinations of doggie. So I'll keep you updated.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Um, really? Hubby Call Out #2
As I mentioned in my Pavlov's Toothbrush post I intend to post funny, slightly embarassing things about my husband until he reads my blog. I have even told him that the first one was out there, and yet, AND YET he still hasn't read it. Rawr. That's my mildly annoyed noise.
So for topic 2, I thought I should cover some of Hubby's quirks. Oh, and I think I am going to finally say his name, because it's not like it's a state secret, since anyone who reads this does probably already know me. I love living with Brian (that's hubster's name) and I love love love being married to him. He rocks, let me just say that. And let me also say that if he were to make a list of my quirks, they might perhaps be twice as long. So please don't think my husband is a wacky tyrant when you read the following paragraphs.
Living with someone is really interesting, because you learn things about them you'd never really know if you weren't privy to the full life they live, not just the part where they take you on dates or go on vacation or you have sleepovers at their apartments. Being with someone every day makes you utterly aware of all their peculiarities.
Here are a few of Brian's endearing quirks:
1) Brian cooks us gourmet dinners every night (yes, I know, I am the luckiest girl ever). But apparently, it is heresy if we don't have a vegetable with our meal. There is always a meat, a starch, and a veggie. And if he doesn't make a seperate veg, he either apologizes or confirms that this is ok. What, no brocolli? I divorce you!
2)He folds his t-shirts in the strangest way I've ever seen, so that they are stood up at the fold. I can't even explain it. It looks like something out of a magazine, but it's cute.
3)He washes his face and entire body with his shampoo. It makes no sense. I have laughed hysterically many a time when I have seen this. He does also use soap, by the way, so I am not sure why he likes transferring the extra shampoo from his head to his body. But I'll turn around in the shower and he'll be covered in it.
OK, now on to the quirks I could live without:
1) It is a crime if I do not close the door to my closet. Yes, he built the closet in our new house (I know, awesome). And I get that the cat might get in the closet and shed even more on our clothes (Murray is a long haired white cat) if I left it open. But honestly - in those ten minutes between when I put my clothes on and then went into the bathroom to dry my hair, what is so horrible about leaving the closet open?
2) He asks, in some degree of seriousness, if I am trying to waste money when I have more than two lights on in the house at one time. I grew up in a house where we kept whatever lights on that we wanted. It's not like we did it to waste money, I think we just liked having a house that was illuminated. Now I have to fight with the man in the dark cave to keep some damn lights on.
3) Every morning he is convinced we are going to be late for the train. This one is definitely getting better the longer we've lived here in the house, but I think at least 20 seperate times he has been convinced we are going to be late for the train. I've got the whole thing down to a science - I know exactly how much time I've got (not much, really, we want as much sleep as we can get, so we get up at 6:30 and have to be out of the door at 7:00) and I even know that I should have the hairdryer on by 6:55 to make sure things all go according to plan. 2 minutes before I am ready, he'll start freaking that we're going to miss the train. At first I tried to rush for him, actually believing we might be late. But then I noticed that every single day, every time I got in the car, it was 7:00. Maybe 6:59, maybe 7:01. But honestly. Chill out. And guess what - there is another train less than 10 minutes after the one we take. Oh the horror!
I've got a thousand more things to tell you, about him, about me, about life, but I am tired so I am going to go turn off the light, make sure my closet door is closed, and tease him about the fact that we had steak and eggs tonight with no veggie.
So for topic 2, I thought I should cover some of Hubby's quirks. Oh, and I think I am going to finally say his name, because it's not like it's a state secret, since anyone who reads this does probably already know me. I love living with Brian (that's hubster's name) and I love love love being married to him. He rocks, let me just say that. And let me also say that if he were to make a list of my quirks, they might perhaps be twice as long. So please don't think my husband is a wacky tyrant when you read the following paragraphs.
Living with someone is really interesting, because you learn things about them you'd never really know if you weren't privy to the full life they live, not just the part where they take you on dates or go on vacation or you have sleepovers at their apartments. Being with someone every day makes you utterly aware of all their peculiarities.
Here are a few of Brian's endearing quirks:
1) Brian cooks us gourmet dinners every night (yes, I know, I am the luckiest girl ever). But apparently, it is heresy if we don't have a vegetable with our meal. There is always a meat, a starch, and a veggie. And if he doesn't make a seperate veg, he either apologizes or confirms that this is ok. What, no brocolli? I divorce you!
2)He folds his t-shirts in the strangest way I've ever seen, so that they are stood up at the fold. I can't even explain it. It looks like something out of a magazine, but it's cute.
3)He washes his face and entire body with his shampoo. It makes no sense. I have laughed hysterically many a time when I have seen this. He does also use soap, by the way, so I am not sure why he likes transferring the extra shampoo from his head to his body. But I'll turn around in the shower and he'll be covered in it.
OK, now on to the quirks I could live without:
1) It is a crime if I do not close the door to my closet. Yes, he built the closet in our new house (I know, awesome). And I get that the cat might get in the closet and shed even more on our clothes (Murray is a long haired white cat) if I left it open. But honestly - in those ten minutes between when I put my clothes on and then went into the bathroom to dry my hair, what is so horrible about leaving the closet open?
2) He asks, in some degree of seriousness, if I am trying to waste money when I have more than two lights on in the house at one time. I grew up in a house where we kept whatever lights on that we wanted. It's not like we did it to waste money, I think we just liked having a house that was illuminated. Now I have to fight with the man in the dark cave to keep some damn lights on.
3) Every morning he is convinced we are going to be late for the train. This one is definitely getting better the longer we've lived here in the house, but I think at least 20 seperate times he has been convinced we are going to be late for the train. I've got the whole thing down to a science - I know exactly how much time I've got (not much, really, we want as much sleep as we can get, so we get up at 6:30 and have to be out of the door at 7:00) and I even know that I should have the hairdryer on by 6:55 to make sure things all go according to plan. 2 minutes before I am ready, he'll start freaking that we're going to miss the train. At first I tried to rush for him, actually believing we might be late. But then I noticed that every single day, every time I got in the car, it was 7:00. Maybe 6:59, maybe 7:01. But honestly. Chill out. And guess what - there is another train less than 10 minutes after the one we take. Oh the horror!
I've got a thousand more things to tell you, about him, about me, about life, but I am tired so I am going to go turn off the light, make sure my closet door is closed, and tease him about the fact that we had steak and eggs tonight with no veggie.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Everyone needs a monkey lamp
I love monkeys. I'm not sure I've mentioned that before on this blog. I LOVE MONKEYS. I don't know why I like them so much, but man, I do. I don't want to own one or anything, though I wouldn't mind holding a monkey (assuming said monkey was cuddly). I think they are really funny, and I love their little people like quirks - like have you ever seen a monkey that had to walk through water and didn't want to? I did once, on this amazing Planet Earth special on Discovery channel. And the monkey was totally high stepping it, with it's hands all up in the air, like, oh, I can't believe I have to walk across this water - like a lady caught in the rain in high heels.
So, don't you think I should find a reason to own these lamps:
These are the "Simian Glow Monkey Table Lamps", which are sold across a whole bunch of sites, including the one I linked you too, which is Touch of Class I think. Hubby and I actually considered buying these as bedside table lamps until we realized how tall the monkey tails were (a little too tall for bedside lamps). I just love how quirky it is, that you can actually buy lamps shaped like Monkeys. I do wonder if people buy these without understanding the comedic value of them. Like, "oh honey, these lamps will complete our jungle themed rec room!" Either way, I totally heart them.
So, don't you think I should find a reason to own these lamps:
These are the "Simian Glow Monkey Table Lamps", which are sold across a whole bunch of sites, including the one I linked you too, which is Touch of Class I think. Hubby and I actually considered buying these as bedside table lamps until we realized how tall the monkey tails were (a little too tall for bedside lamps). I just love how quirky it is, that you can actually buy lamps shaped like Monkeys. I do wonder if people buy these without understanding the comedic value of them. Like, "oh honey, these lamps will complete our jungle themed rec room!" Either way, I totally heart them.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Pavlov's Toothbrush, aka Hubby Call out #1
So my hubby is fantastic. I mean, fan-fucking-tastic, I thank my lucky stars every day that I nabbed him. But that doesn't mean he doesn't drive me crazy - although I believe it's a contractual obligation in a marriage that your partner can and will make you kooky over their habits and pecularities.
And I've decided to start a series of on and off blog posts documenting my husband's kookiness. Why might I do this, you ask? Well, hubs and I were discussing my blog (a frequent topic, as I like to talk about it) and he admitted he still HAS NOT READ IT. Not one little entry. Admittedly, hubby is not much of a reader (I know - weird, right, I get woozy in bookstores from the love and I married someone who doesn't recreationally read!). But still - no fair. I told him I'd like him to read it and he said he doesn't need to read it because he lives it (a cute statement, cuter if it's not a line I told him from another author I read who's husband told her the same thing).
So I proposed this: I would write revealing stories about him on my blog until he read it. And as soon as he read it and told me what I wrote, I'd delete it if he'd like. But then he said there is nothing I could say about him that would be embarassing. Which he took back one minute later when I listed at least 3 things that he'd die if I revealed (and I of course promised him I had never intended to reveal those things anyway).
But know this, hubs. You're call out on more minor embarassments is coming. In fact, here is item 1: The Pavlovian Toothbrush.
When we lived in our apartment, it was pretty small and we could hear each other from the other rooms - on the phone, watching tv, etc. And I observed a strange phenomenon. No matter what he was doing at the time, if hubs heard the sound of me brushing my teeth before bed, he seemed to drop whatever he was doing to come and brush his teeth with me. I mean, literally, if I went to brush my teeth without telling him I was doing it, I could seriously count the seconds while I was brushing until he showed up in the bathroom. He could keep playing his video game, or watching tv or whatever. But no - the call of the toothbrush was too strong to resist - like Pavlov's dogs and the bell. But now that we've moved into the house, he can't always hear me when I go to brush my teeth. And so, sometimes, I brush alone. It's a strange feeling, like I am hiding something. But then I remember - brushing your teeth is not a partner activity. And so I brush, alone, even if I do, on rare occasions, miss the sound of him padding down the hall to brush with me.
And I've decided to start a series of on and off blog posts documenting my husband's kookiness. Why might I do this, you ask? Well, hubs and I were discussing my blog (a frequent topic, as I like to talk about it) and he admitted he still HAS NOT READ IT. Not one little entry. Admittedly, hubby is not much of a reader (I know - weird, right, I get woozy in bookstores from the love and I married someone who doesn't recreationally read!). But still - no fair. I told him I'd like him to read it and he said he doesn't need to read it because he lives it (a cute statement, cuter if it's not a line I told him from another author I read who's husband told her the same thing).
So I proposed this: I would write revealing stories about him on my blog until he read it. And as soon as he read it and told me what I wrote, I'd delete it if he'd like. But then he said there is nothing I could say about him that would be embarassing. Which he took back one minute later when I listed at least 3 things that he'd die if I revealed (and I of course promised him I had never intended to reveal those things anyway).
But know this, hubs. You're call out on more minor embarassments is coming. In fact, here is item 1: The Pavlovian Toothbrush.
When we lived in our apartment, it was pretty small and we could hear each other from the other rooms - on the phone, watching tv, etc. And I observed a strange phenomenon. No matter what he was doing at the time, if hubs heard the sound of me brushing my teeth before bed, he seemed to drop whatever he was doing to come and brush his teeth with me. I mean, literally, if I went to brush my teeth without telling him I was doing it, I could seriously count the seconds while I was brushing until he showed up in the bathroom. He could keep playing his video game, or watching tv or whatever. But no - the call of the toothbrush was too strong to resist - like Pavlov's dogs and the bell. But now that we've moved into the house, he can't always hear me when I go to brush my teeth. And so, sometimes, I brush alone. It's a strange feeling, like I am hiding something. But then I remember - brushing your teeth is not a partner activity. And so I brush, alone, even if I do, on rare occasions, miss the sound of him padding down the hall to brush with me.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
The Soundtrack of My Life
Looking at someone's Itunes or Ipod is like looking inside their brain. I think it is SO interesting to see what kind of music people have in their collections. To a lesser extent, I used to do this with friends in college, when we'd compare and share CDs. But what has made it more interesting is that with music downloading, many people will buy (or borrow or steal) an individual song versus an album. This can reveal some funny music preferences. For example, if back in the CD days, you absolutely loved that Right Said Fred song "I'm too Sexy", you probably didn't buy the whole album (did anybody?). Itunes has made songs, as opposed to albums, more meaningful.
I thought I'd share with you some of my secrets from my Itunes:
10 songs I'd never have if I had to buy the album (and am mostly slightly embarassed to even tell you I have):
Because I got High - Afroman
I feel Pretty - West Side Story Soundtrack
Ice Ice Baby - Vanilla Ice
Round and Round - Tevin Campbell
Right Here - SWV
Tonto, Jump On It - Sugar Hill Gang
It Takes 2 - Rob Base
Stars are Blind - Paris Hilton
Two of Out 3 Aint Bad - Meatloaf
Ice Box - Omarion
5 Songs that Make Me Think of My Childhood:
Pipes of Peace - Paul McCartney (1st cassette tape I ever owned)
Still Crazy After All These Years - Paul Simon (one my parents' "songs")
Lydia, the Tattooed Lady - Muppets (from Muppet Silly Songs, my favorite tape to listen to before bed when I was little)
Take On Me - A-ha (Makes me think of my sister, as she lived for A-ha, and this songs kicks all sorts of 80's ass)
Anything by Billy Joel - (seriously, we listened to it him so much as a kid, I feel like he is my uncle or something)
5 Funny Funny Songs/Audio Clips from TV or Movies:
Fat Guy in a Little Coat - Chris Farley bit from Tommy Boy
Doodoo Pie - SNL duet from skit with Britney Spears & Tracey Morgan
Jay's Rap - From Jay & Silent Strike Back
Red Hooded Sweatshirt - Adam Sandler from SNL
Chocolate Salty Balls - Chef from South Park
5 Songs from the Soundtrack of My Life:
All I Gave - World Party (this song always needed to be on my life soundtrack, so I chose it for the music we walked to in our wedding recessional)
Michelle - The Beatles (Kissed a cute boy in college to this one)
Yer So Bad - Tommy Petty (the song of me and my sister, forever and always)
Birdhouse in Your Soul - They Might be Giants (In particular because my parents were cool enough that they took me and my sister to see them perform in Greenwich Village when I was 12 because they were one of our favorite bands. I will never forget that. Who's parents would do that? Mine! Awesome.)
Push - Sara McLachlan (the song we did our first dance to at our wedding)
5 Songs that I think give me Street Cred for Knowing because they are mildly obscure and I don't ever want to completely lose touch with what's cool (so go download them if you haven't heard of them):
You Are the One - Shiny Toy Guns
Someone Like You - Safetysuit
It Makes My Heart Break - Your Vegas
Medicine - The Animators (a band that has sadly broken up, but is wonderful. And my hubby had them help propose to me at one of their shows - so this is also a "Soundtrack of My Life" song I suppose)
Seventeen Years - Ratatat
I'd love if people commented on this one with some of their Itunes picks too, please!
I thought I'd share with you some of my secrets from my Itunes:
10 songs I'd never have if I had to buy the album (and am mostly slightly embarassed to even tell you I have):
Because I got High - Afroman
I feel Pretty - West Side Story Soundtrack
Ice Ice Baby - Vanilla Ice
Round and Round - Tevin Campbell
Right Here - SWV
Tonto, Jump On It - Sugar Hill Gang
It Takes 2 - Rob Base
Stars are Blind - Paris Hilton
Two of Out 3 Aint Bad - Meatloaf
Ice Box - Omarion
5 Songs that Make Me Think of My Childhood:
Pipes of Peace - Paul McCartney (1st cassette tape I ever owned)
Still Crazy After All These Years - Paul Simon (one my parents' "songs")
Lydia, the Tattooed Lady - Muppets (from Muppet Silly Songs, my favorite tape to listen to before bed when I was little)
Take On Me - A-ha (Makes me think of my sister, as she lived for A-ha, and this songs kicks all sorts of 80's ass)
Anything by Billy Joel - (seriously, we listened to it him so much as a kid, I feel like he is my uncle or something)
5 Funny Funny Songs/Audio Clips from TV or Movies:
Fat Guy in a Little Coat - Chris Farley bit from Tommy Boy
Doodoo Pie - SNL duet from skit with Britney Spears & Tracey Morgan
Jay's Rap - From Jay & Silent Strike Back
Red Hooded Sweatshirt - Adam Sandler from SNL
Chocolate Salty Balls - Chef from South Park
5 Songs from the Soundtrack of My Life:
All I Gave - World Party (this song always needed to be on my life soundtrack, so I chose it for the music we walked to in our wedding recessional)
Michelle - The Beatles (Kissed a cute boy in college to this one)
Yer So Bad - Tommy Petty (the song of me and my sister, forever and always)
Birdhouse in Your Soul - They Might be Giants (In particular because my parents were cool enough that they took me and my sister to see them perform in Greenwich Village when I was 12 because they were one of our favorite bands. I will never forget that. Who's parents would do that? Mine! Awesome.)
Push - Sara McLachlan (the song we did our first dance to at our wedding)
5 Songs that I think give me Street Cred for Knowing because they are mildly obscure and I don't ever want to completely lose touch with what's cool (so go download them if you haven't heard of them):
You Are the One - Shiny Toy Guns
Someone Like You - Safetysuit
It Makes My Heart Break - Your Vegas
Medicine - The Animators (a band that has sadly broken up, but is wonderful. And my hubby had them help propose to me at one of their shows - so this is also a "Soundtrack of My Life" song I suppose)
Seventeen Years - Ratatat
I'd love if people commented on this one with some of their Itunes picks too, please!
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Food Porn
I've written before about my food allergy (well, it's technically a disease, but it sounds more normal to call it an allergy) which doesn't allow me to eat anything with flour in it. Well today, one of our vendors brought in cupcakes from a place called Eleni's, which I know about for their famously cute (and expensive) cookies. These cupcakes were divine looking. They even rivaled the look of the notoriously terrific Crumbs bakery cupcakes, which is located down the street from our office.
These were delicious looking, tantilizing, mouth watering, glittering goodies of yum yum tastic proportions. The kind of cupcakes people could get in fist fights over. There was a red velvet cupcake with cream cheese frosting, an oreo cupcake with crushed oreos mixed in the frosting, vanilla cake with strawberry whipped frosting and sprinkles, and a chocolate cupcake with white frosting on it that you know just rivaled birthday cake quality frosting. And there were at least 15 of them, sitting mere feet from my desk.
AND I COULDN'T EAT THEM. Not even lick the frosting (god forbid there might be flour transfer) or nibble a tiny bite (unless I want to curl up in the fetal position in pain and/or vomit). So I did the next best thing. I pimped out those cupcakes. First I delivered one to my boss. He chose the oreo one, which also appeared to have little marshmellows in it. Then I brought two to the office of sarcasm (so nicknamed by me because the two people who sit in there are hilarious and uber sarcastic) and finally I brought two upstairs to a couple of the guys in research (to thank them for their awesome job working on our office ping pong tournament).
And you know what's kind of messed up - with all five of those cupcake deliveries, I made them all eat at least a bit of the cupcake in front of me, and tell me what it tasted like. I was engaging in vicarious cupcake eating - like food porn. I don't know why cupcakes get me so bad. Like I said in my earlier post, I am pretty much accepting of my gluten free lifestyle. But cupcakes are not only delicious, but so pretty. Sooooooo pretty. And unlike cake, where frosting is a mere garnish - in cupcakes, frosting is almost in equal part to the cake.
But you want to know the funny part? When I brought the cupcakes upstairs to research, and I explained that I wanted to watch them enjoy the cupcakes, one of the guys was like "Oh yeah, I make my friends tell me all about whatever they're eating. I always want to see the inside of their sandwiches and stuff." Really? I've at least got my allergy to fall back in as an excuse for my weird actions. He, apparently, is just weird. Or loves food. Or both.
These were delicious looking, tantilizing, mouth watering, glittering goodies of yum yum tastic proportions. The kind of cupcakes people could get in fist fights over. There was a red velvet cupcake with cream cheese frosting, an oreo cupcake with crushed oreos mixed in the frosting, vanilla cake with strawberry whipped frosting and sprinkles, and a chocolate cupcake with white frosting on it that you know just rivaled birthday cake quality frosting. And there were at least 15 of them, sitting mere feet from my desk.
AND I COULDN'T EAT THEM. Not even lick the frosting (god forbid there might be flour transfer) or nibble a tiny bite (unless I want to curl up in the fetal position in pain and/or vomit). So I did the next best thing. I pimped out those cupcakes. First I delivered one to my boss. He chose the oreo one, which also appeared to have little marshmellows in it. Then I brought two to the office of sarcasm (so nicknamed by me because the two people who sit in there are hilarious and uber sarcastic) and finally I brought two upstairs to a couple of the guys in research (to thank them for their awesome job working on our office ping pong tournament).
And you know what's kind of messed up - with all five of those cupcake deliveries, I made them all eat at least a bit of the cupcake in front of me, and tell me what it tasted like. I was engaging in vicarious cupcake eating - like food porn. I don't know why cupcakes get me so bad. Like I said in my earlier post, I am pretty much accepting of my gluten free lifestyle. But cupcakes are not only delicious, but so pretty. Sooooooo pretty. And unlike cake, where frosting is a mere garnish - in cupcakes, frosting is almost in equal part to the cake.
But you want to know the funny part? When I brought the cupcakes upstairs to research, and I explained that I wanted to watch them enjoy the cupcakes, one of the guys was like "Oh yeah, I make my friends tell me all about whatever they're eating. I always want to see the inside of their sandwiches and stuff." Really? I've at least got my allergy to fall back in as an excuse for my weird actions. He, apparently, is just weird. Or loves food. Or both.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
These things make no sense
I am still feeling fairly disgruntled. Although there are a few things that have made me feel gruntled (I know, it's not a word, but I like it) today. One of those things is the gluten free almond cookies a client baked for me, which I will be finishing while watching the Biggest Loser (and before you judge me for eating cookies while watching a weight loss show, admit it, you'd do the same thing). And while I am at it, watching the Biggest Loser will make feel gruntled. And my giant furry Norwegian forest cat Murray will probably sit on my lap during at least a part of the show, and purr a lot, and that will similarly make me feel gruntled. So there, something nice to start this post off before I bitch again.
On to the bitchery! Why does everybody not have EZ-Pass? Honestly. I want to know. Because here is the difference between E-Z Pass vs. No E-Z Pass: heating up a mug of hot chocolate in the microwave, versus making a fire in your backyard out of sticks you must gather up first, and then boiling a pot of water over the fire, pulling it out of the fire without burning yourself, and then pouring the water into a mug. Oh and if you are in the dark ages, this is what E-Z pass does
Seriously. If you've ever seen a line of 67 cars waiting for a toll, and then sped by them like me on your way to the "you don't even have to stop, just slow down a little" EZ Pass line, you will be stymied by this. My guess is that maybe these people have just not figured out what it would take to apply for said EZ Pass? Or maybe they don't have a credit card, so they can't get one? But my guess is that there a ton of people out there who are aggravating themselves (and me, when their super long toll line actually blocks the EZ Pass people, from, well, passing) for no good reason!
This brings me to pointless waiting on line item number 2: Why do people wait on the ticket line at movie theaters anymore? Hubby and I used to go this movie theater sort of where we lived in Brooklyn, on Atlantic Avenue, and you'd get close to it and there would be a line outside stretched halfway down the block - sometimes over a hundred people long, waiting to buy tickets. This theater also had about 10 electronic ticket machines, where you could purchase tickets with a credit card. Know how many people were usually on line there? 2. Again, this goes back to my credit card thought, that maybe some people don't have credit cards, or don't want to use them to buy tickets? But you can even use a debit card on those machines! Who doesn't have a debit card? It's the same damn thing as cash, pretty much. I think all you need to have one is a bank account and am I wrong for assuming most people have one of those? In which case, I think maybe you shouldn't be going to the movies, you should be saving your money, so you can get a bank account. Because damn.
On to the bitchery! Why does everybody not have EZ-Pass? Honestly. I want to know. Because here is the difference between E-Z Pass vs. No E-Z Pass: heating up a mug of hot chocolate in the microwave, versus making a fire in your backyard out of sticks you must gather up first, and then boiling a pot of water over the fire, pulling it out of the fire without burning yourself, and then pouring the water into a mug. Oh and if you are in the dark ages, this is what E-Z pass does
Seriously. If you've ever seen a line of 67 cars waiting for a toll, and then sped by them like me on your way to the "you don't even have to stop, just slow down a little" EZ Pass line, you will be stymied by this. My guess is that maybe these people have just not figured out what it would take to apply for said EZ Pass? Or maybe they don't have a credit card, so they can't get one? But my guess is that there a ton of people out there who are aggravating themselves (and me, when their super long toll line actually blocks the EZ Pass people, from, well, passing) for no good reason!
This brings me to pointless waiting on line item number 2: Why do people wait on the ticket line at movie theaters anymore? Hubby and I used to go this movie theater sort of where we lived in Brooklyn, on Atlantic Avenue, and you'd get close to it and there would be a line outside stretched halfway down the block - sometimes over a hundred people long, waiting to buy tickets. This theater also had about 10 electronic ticket machines, where you could purchase tickets with a credit card. Know how many people were usually on line there? 2. Again, this goes back to my credit card thought, that maybe some people don't have credit cards, or don't want to use them to buy tickets? But you can even use a debit card on those machines! Who doesn't have a debit card? It's the same damn thing as cash, pretty much. I think all you need to have one is a bank account and am I wrong for assuming most people have one of those? In which case, I think maybe you shouldn't be going to the movies, you should be saving your money, so you can get a bank account. Because damn.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Silence of the Hot Dog
I was having a particularly bad week last week, and then my co-worker showed me a poem that her daughter wrote, and all was better. I wanted to publish it for you here because I am sure you will live for it as much I do. Also keep in mind that the author is a mere seven years old!!!!
SILENCE OF THE HOT DOG
Hot Dog
Hot Dog
Quiet As Can Be
TEMPTING
TEMPTING
TEMPTING ME
Juicy Little Hot Dog
Made From Lamb
Am I Hungry?
YES I AM
Is that not just brilliant? Read it out loud too, because the cuteness of it is really accentuated when you say it.
SILENCE OF THE HOT DOG
Hot Dog
Hot Dog
Quiet As Can Be
TEMPTING
TEMPTING
TEMPTING ME
Juicy Little Hot Dog
Made From Lamb
Am I Hungry?
YES I AM
Is that not just brilliant? Read it out loud too, because the cuteness of it is really accentuated when you say it.
Friday, March 6, 2009
This Coyote Hat is no Joke
I saw the most insane thing today, and I had to share it. This guy in our research department at work had cut this product image out of a catalog. See, part of the job of research is to go through tons of catalogs, mail, etc. I can only assume that Nate (the guy from research) came across this image and found it so fabuously insane that he tore it out and hung it up in his cubicle. Which is where I happened to see it, and he mentioned that they sell this thing on the web too. This product is from a site called Cabela's. It is so unbelievably insane, I must show it to you now:
I made the picture a link so you could go check it out for yourself. This C-R-A-Z-Y thing is an actual hat. The "Bridger Mountain Man Coyote Hat". And you could get one for yourself for the sale price of $199. It's originally $249, but maybe enough people don't want to wear a coyote on their heads that look like it's fucking their back.
I mean, let's discuss the insanity:
1)This is an actual coyote. As in, a real dead animal
2)This coyote has been made into a fucking hat
3)The coyote's head drapes over your head and according to the site "it drapes down the back for added warmth and protection of your neck and shoulders". Because you know, if you're cold, there's nothing quite like wearing a dead coyote on your head to keep you warm and toasty
4)The rest of the coyote hangs from your head, on your back. And it really looks like the coyote is trying to have its way with you from behind.
5)The tail is still freakin attached, giving you the look of having a freaky coyote tail
6)The front paws hang down on your shoulders
7)The man wearing this coyote as a hat is also cleaning his shot gun (of course)
Can you believe that even one person in this whole wide world would want to wear this hat? I for one am baffled.
I made the picture a link so you could go check it out for yourself. This C-R-A-Z-Y thing is an actual hat. The "Bridger Mountain Man Coyote Hat". And you could get one for yourself for the sale price of $199. It's originally $249, but maybe enough people don't want to wear a coyote on their heads that look like it's fucking their back.
I mean, let's discuss the insanity:
1)This is an actual coyote. As in, a real dead animal
2)This coyote has been made into a fucking hat
3)The coyote's head drapes over your head and according to the site "it drapes down the back for added warmth and protection of your neck and shoulders". Because you know, if you're cold, there's nothing quite like wearing a dead coyote on your head to keep you warm and toasty
4)The rest of the coyote hangs from your head, on your back. And it really looks like the coyote is trying to have its way with you from behind.
5)The tail is still freakin attached, giving you the look of having a freaky coyote tail
6)The front paws hang down on your shoulders
7)The man wearing this coyote as a hat is also cleaning his shot gun (of course)
Can you believe that even one person in this whole wide world would want to wear this hat? I for one am baffled.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
BLARGH
It's only Tuesday, and yet, already, I have to say, blargh. I love this word, blargh. I use it all the time when I IM people. To me, blargh is sort of like "argh" or "rawr" or any other number of words that mean, essentially ugh.
I wasn't sure if blargh was actually a word, or a word I made up, as I am a big fan of making up words. I googled it and there is a definition for it on UrbanDictionary.com. They define blargh as: "an exclamation indicating that one has absorbed or is emitting a quantum of unhappiness". I'd say that's pretty much right.
Other words I love (some that I made up, some I didn't):
Hangry - When you are so hungry that it starts making you hostile (hence the H). People love this one whenever I tell them about it. It's pretty much what happens when you have low blood sugar.
Poopsicle - Strangely enough, I call people this as an affectionate name
Right meow - My hubby just showed me this scene from the movie Super Troopers, where this cop messes with a guy he pulled over on a speeding violation by throwing the word meow into all his sentences. So instead of saying "right now", I will be saying "right meow" whenever humanly possible.
This is a short one, so I will end this post right meow.
I wasn't sure if blargh was actually a word, or a word I made up, as I am a big fan of making up words. I googled it and there is a definition for it on UrbanDictionary.com. They define blargh as: "an exclamation indicating that one has absorbed or is emitting a quantum of unhappiness". I'd say that's pretty much right.
Other words I love (some that I made up, some I didn't):
Hangry - When you are so hungry that it starts making you hostile (hence the H). People love this one whenever I tell them about it. It's pretty much what happens when you have low blood sugar.
Poopsicle - Strangely enough, I call people this as an affectionate name
Right meow - My hubby just showed me this scene from the movie Super Troopers, where this cop messes with a guy he pulled over on a speeding violation by throwing the word meow into all his sentences. So instead of saying "right now", I will be saying "right meow" whenever humanly possible.
This is a short one, so I will end this post right meow.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
I don't want to see you naked
The move to the suburbs has necessitated the joining of a new gym. In Brooklyn I belonged to a one off gym that was right across the street from my apartment. It was the ultimate convenience, but it wasn't a big gym, like NYSC, which I now belong to. I really like the NYSC, they have huge gyms with a lot of equipment I've never had access to before, like the "evil stairs to nowhere" as I call them, a machine that looks like a simple staircase, but kicks your ass when you try to climb it.
During the week it is too complicated to try and go to the NYSC branch near my house (its about a 5-1o minute drive over there, and as it is, we need to get up before 6:30 am to catch our train). So I have started going to the NYSC near my office. I've never had to spend much time in a gym locker room, since I lived so close to my old gym that I just hung up my coat and went to work out. But now I have to bring a backpack and lock up all my stuff and then shower after I work out before I go to the office.
This has brought on a challenge for me, as I am not a fan of public nudity. The main issue is the towel situation. Besides being scratchy to the point of feeling like loofahs, the towels are impossibly small for covering yourself up. I've seen one trick that many of the women employ that involves tying one towel around the waist like a mini skirt, and then draping the other towel like a scarf over their necks to cover up their boobs. This one is not an option for me, as I happen to have very broad hips and only the largest of towels will actually wrap around my body and also cover my business.
I have come up with a solution that works for me. It involves several steps, including discreetly undressing in a way that exposes little of my body while simultaneously covering myself up with a sarong I keep in my gym bag. Then I carry a plastic bag with my undies and bra in it, along with the key to my locker and two towels. After I dry off in the shower, I cover again with the sarong, go to the bathroom, put on my bra and panties, and then re-cover with the sarong, go unlock my locker and discreetly change into my clothes. I know it sounds complicated and prudish, but really it's quite simple and protects my interest in being modest. And besides, I work less than 4 blocks from this gym. There is a good chance that co-workers might work out here. I saw one chick once that works in the direct mail department. I don't want her to see me naked, and I don't want to see her naked. I would keep covered up just for that purpose even if I loved being nude.
I am also apparently, the only person who believes in such modesty. The towel boob scarf is really the more covered up of the nudity styles I see at the gym. There are several different and disturing variations. There is the lady who wants her bottom business covered, but walks around with her boobs out, even while she is drying her hair. There is the woman who is quite heavyset that wears thong underwear and stands around pantless for longer than seems necessary. There's also the woman who walks to the shower completely nude (actually, there are several of those).
And the craziest I've seen was the girl that was completely naked, and then lifted her leg up onto the bench, which she was doing strangely enough to balance her towel on her leg (just the folded up towel, it wasn't used to cover anything) so she could comb her wet hair completely nude and well, let's face it, a bit on the ahem, exposed side. It was a little much for me. I just don't want to see all these naked strangers. I realize my body issues might make me a little too caught up in not showing off my body, but what's with these people that are naked for longer then necessary for no reason at all? What's that about?
But then again, whenever I find the gym nudity too weird, I just think of what my hubby told me. In his gym, there is a dude that spreads eagle and blow drys his balls. Nuff said.
During the week it is too complicated to try and go to the NYSC branch near my house (its about a 5-1o minute drive over there, and as it is, we need to get up before 6:30 am to catch our train). So I have started going to the NYSC near my office. I've never had to spend much time in a gym locker room, since I lived so close to my old gym that I just hung up my coat and went to work out. But now I have to bring a backpack and lock up all my stuff and then shower after I work out before I go to the office.
This has brought on a challenge for me, as I am not a fan of public nudity. The main issue is the towel situation. Besides being scratchy to the point of feeling like loofahs, the towels are impossibly small for covering yourself up. I've seen one trick that many of the women employ that involves tying one towel around the waist like a mini skirt, and then draping the other towel like a scarf over their necks to cover up their boobs. This one is not an option for me, as I happen to have very broad hips and only the largest of towels will actually wrap around my body and also cover my business.
I have come up with a solution that works for me. It involves several steps, including discreetly undressing in a way that exposes little of my body while simultaneously covering myself up with a sarong I keep in my gym bag. Then I carry a plastic bag with my undies and bra in it, along with the key to my locker and two towels. After I dry off in the shower, I cover again with the sarong, go to the bathroom, put on my bra and panties, and then re-cover with the sarong, go unlock my locker and discreetly change into my clothes. I know it sounds complicated and prudish, but really it's quite simple and protects my interest in being modest. And besides, I work less than 4 blocks from this gym. There is a good chance that co-workers might work out here. I saw one chick once that works in the direct mail department. I don't want her to see me naked, and I don't want to see her naked. I would keep covered up just for that purpose even if I loved being nude.
I am also apparently, the only person who believes in such modesty. The towel boob scarf is really the more covered up of the nudity styles I see at the gym. There are several different and disturing variations. There is the lady who wants her bottom business covered, but walks around with her boobs out, even while she is drying her hair. There is the woman who is quite heavyset that wears thong underwear and stands around pantless for longer than seems necessary. There's also the woman who walks to the shower completely nude (actually, there are several of those).
And the craziest I've seen was the girl that was completely naked, and then lifted her leg up onto the bench, which she was doing strangely enough to balance her towel on her leg (just the folded up towel, it wasn't used to cover anything) so she could comb her wet hair completely nude and well, let's face it, a bit on the ahem, exposed side. It was a little much for me. I just don't want to see all these naked strangers. I realize my body issues might make me a little too caught up in not showing off my body, but what's with these people that are naked for longer then necessary for no reason at all? What's that about?
But then again, whenever I find the gym nudity too weird, I just think of what my hubby told me. In his gym, there is a dude that spreads eagle and blow drys his balls. Nuff said.
Friday, February 27, 2009
How does that happen?
I am obsessed with the Biggest Loser tv show. I lurve it. I love it even though they always edit it stupidly which makes the show drag on way longer than it needs to. I love it despite host Allison Sweeney looking like a five year old dressed her and did her makeup in the dark. I love it even though the product placements are getting way out of hand - "Why not store your sugar free gum with your Jello in this Ziploc bag". I love Jillian's "beatings", I love Bob's over emotional tantrums, I love seeing people sweat such an ungodly amount, and I love the finale when everybody just looks like completely different people. Like they unzipped their fat bodies and just stepped out into a new life.
I find the transformations so amazing, both the mental and physical. I've always felt that becoming confident in myself was the key to losing weight, and that having lost all that weight and keeping it off (55 pounds, holla) have helped my overall confidence. I think that although the exercise level is CRAZY (8 hours a day, I believe) that these people, who previously thought they were big fat lazy losers, figure out that they can actually work out for that long without dying. Many fat people (my former self included) are really deeply mired in self pity and fear (not all fat people, I know there are happy fat people, ok?). So that's why them seeing themselves able to accomplish physical feats they believe impossible gives them the strength to continue on.
But there is one contestant this season who's been blowing my mind. Not for his enormous size (he was one of several contestants to come on the show over 400 pounds!) but because he has an incredibly bizarre distribution of the fat on his upper body. Please see below:
On the left is Mike and on the right is Ron. They are the brown team. Mike has a fairly normal distribution of fat, with small man boobs, and a large roundish stomach. Ron on the other hand, my hubby and I have been referring to as "triple nipple". I suppose this isn't quite accurate, since technically, his appearing to have 6 breasts would mean a corresponding 6 nipples, but you get the point. It's a litle hard to see in the picture but I think you get the idea.
He has three distinct sections of his chest. It's incredibly odd. I've heard reference I think to him possibly having had a tummy tuck after he last a lot of weight in the past with gastric bypass. This may be where this sort of comes from, because if he didn't have any room anymore to have the fat be distributed to a certain area of his body, it may have started depositing itself oddly in other areas. But genuinely, I've never seen anything like it. It's mesmerizing, but only in the most ooky way possible. And I feel bad for him every time he takes off his shirt to weigh in. Because it's hard enough going on this show, sweating in front of America and having to have all your fat hang out for the weigh in, but doing so with the weirdest upper body possible, that must be worse.
I find the transformations so amazing, both the mental and physical. I've always felt that becoming confident in myself was the key to losing weight, and that having lost all that weight and keeping it off (55 pounds, holla) have helped my overall confidence. I think that although the exercise level is CRAZY (8 hours a day, I believe) that these people, who previously thought they were big fat lazy losers, figure out that they can actually work out for that long without dying. Many fat people (my former self included) are really deeply mired in self pity and fear (not all fat people, I know there are happy fat people, ok?). So that's why them seeing themselves able to accomplish physical feats they believe impossible gives them the strength to continue on.
But there is one contestant this season who's been blowing my mind. Not for his enormous size (he was one of several contestants to come on the show over 400 pounds!) but because he has an incredibly bizarre distribution of the fat on his upper body. Please see below:
On the left is Mike and on the right is Ron. They are the brown team. Mike has a fairly normal distribution of fat, with small man boobs, and a large roundish stomach. Ron on the other hand, my hubby and I have been referring to as "triple nipple". I suppose this isn't quite accurate, since technically, his appearing to have 6 breasts would mean a corresponding 6 nipples, but you get the point. It's a litle hard to see in the picture but I think you get the idea.
He has three distinct sections of his chest. It's incredibly odd. I've heard reference I think to him possibly having had a tummy tuck after he last a lot of weight in the past with gastric bypass. This may be where this sort of comes from, because if he didn't have any room anymore to have the fat be distributed to a certain area of his body, it may have started depositing itself oddly in other areas. But genuinely, I've never seen anything like it. It's mesmerizing, but only in the most ooky way possible. And I feel bad for him every time he takes off his shirt to weigh in. Because it's hard enough going on this show, sweating in front of America and having to have all your fat hang out for the weigh in, but doing so with the weirdest upper body possible, that must be worse.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Honestly, You're Not Sorry
I have a condition called Celiac Disease. It's an intolerance to wheat gluten, which means that I can't eat any of the following things:
Flour
Cookies
Cake
Pretzels
Bread
Cereal
Donuts
Cupcakes
Cake
Fried Food
Pasta
There are a number of other, more random things I can't eat:
Pringles - The only potato chips I've found that are made with flour
Soy Sauce - They actually add wheat gluten to it (why?????)
Twizzlers - Would you have guessed that one? I was totally surprised by that!
Any number of bajillion other annoying things are also gluten filled, like for example, certain chicken broth, most salad dressing, many many sauces, sprinkles, etc.
To answer your first question: No, getting diagnosed with this did not make me skinny. I know, right? You'd think there was nothing fattening left to eat. But you are forgetting Reeses Peanut Butter Cups, which are gloriously gluten free. I'm kidding - there's still tons of food in the world I can eat.
I was diagnosed about five years ago, and at first it did feel like there was going to be nothing left to eat, and also like I was being punished. No more bagels? For real? But you know, I was happy to stop throwing up and all the other extremely unpleasant symptoms of the condition I had developed over the years.
So I adapted my life. No more bread basket at restaurants. No more birthday cake at parties. I had to be more creative in my eating - breakfast and lunch on the go can be hard (especially the no sandwich thing!) but man, you can really make anything work if you need to. I eat these things for breakfast called "Envirokidz Bars." They are children's gluten free puffed rice cereal bars. And I eat the peanut butter flavor, which has a panda on the box (each flavor has its own theme animal). And you know what - they are actually delicious! And portable. And only like 2 weight watchers points (Weight watchers is a story for another day though).
But now it took me like ten paragraphs to get to the point of this story. Which is that the one thing I probably like least about having celiac disease is people's reaction to it when I explain it to them. Here's a good one: "Oh my god, I would die if I had that!" Gee thanks.
Another fave: After eating something with gluten in front of me (which is fine with me, its not an airborne allergy, so really, I can't expect people to change what they eat just because of me and I wouldn't want them to) they will be like "Oh this is SO DELICIOUS. Oh sorry Lisa, I feel terrible for eating this in front of you. But it's soooo good." Um, shut the fuck up ok?
Now, I am soooo not going to compare having celiac disease to having one leg on any kind of serious level. But let's just re-imagine those 2 scenarios if that was the case. "Oh Lisa, I can't believe you have one leg. I would just die if I had only 1 leg. Thank god I have 2!" or how about this: "I love running. Running is so much fun. Oh, sorry Lisa, I know you have one leg, and you'll never be able to run. I won't run in front of you anymore."
Rude, right? Just let me live in my world, where I have to pretend that bakeries are invisible. And bring me some peanut butter cups, stat.
Flour
Cookies
Cake
Pretzels
Bread
Cereal
Donuts
Cupcakes
Cake
Fried Food
Pasta
There are a number of other, more random things I can't eat:
Pringles - The only potato chips I've found that are made with flour
Soy Sauce - They actually add wheat gluten to it (why?????)
Twizzlers - Would you have guessed that one? I was totally surprised by that!
Any number of bajillion other annoying things are also gluten filled, like for example, certain chicken broth, most salad dressing, many many sauces, sprinkles, etc.
To answer your first question: No, getting diagnosed with this did not make me skinny. I know, right? You'd think there was nothing fattening left to eat. But you are forgetting Reeses Peanut Butter Cups, which are gloriously gluten free. I'm kidding - there's still tons of food in the world I can eat.
I was diagnosed about five years ago, and at first it did feel like there was going to be nothing left to eat, and also like I was being punished. No more bagels? For real? But you know, I was happy to stop throwing up and all the other extremely unpleasant symptoms of the condition I had developed over the years.
So I adapted my life. No more bread basket at restaurants. No more birthday cake at parties. I had to be more creative in my eating - breakfast and lunch on the go can be hard (especially the no sandwich thing!) but man, you can really make anything work if you need to. I eat these things for breakfast called "Envirokidz Bars." They are children's gluten free puffed rice cereal bars. And I eat the peanut butter flavor, which has a panda on the box (each flavor has its own theme animal). And you know what - they are actually delicious! And portable. And only like 2 weight watchers points (Weight watchers is a story for another day though).
But now it took me like ten paragraphs to get to the point of this story. Which is that the one thing I probably like least about having celiac disease is people's reaction to it when I explain it to them. Here's a good one: "Oh my god, I would die if I had that!" Gee thanks.
Another fave: After eating something with gluten in front of me (which is fine with me, its not an airborne allergy, so really, I can't expect people to change what they eat just because of me and I wouldn't want them to) they will be like "Oh this is SO DELICIOUS. Oh sorry Lisa, I feel terrible for eating this in front of you. But it's soooo good." Um, shut the fuck up ok?
Now, I am soooo not going to compare having celiac disease to having one leg on any kind of serious level. But let's just re-imagine those 2 scenarios if that was the case. "Oh Lisa, I can't believe you have one leg. I would just die if I had only 1 leg. Thank god I have 2!" or how about this: "I love running. Running is so much fun. Oh, sorry Lisa, I know you have one leg, and you'll never be able to run. I won't run in front of you anymore."
Rude, right? Just let me live in my world, where I have to pretend that bakeries are invisible. And bring me some peanut butter cups, stat.
How tiny is my face?
I've never really thought about whether or not I have a big head. I know that when I was fat (not being disparaging, I was in fact genuinely fat) I had a full, roundish face, like a cookie maybe.
A few weeks ago, being inspired by all the girls on Hollywood week of American Idol with these great swishy bangs, I decided I had to get some of my own. So far it's not that easy to get my part to cooperate with the new sideswept bang. My part appears quite hostile about the hair I am trying to borrow from the other side of my head to make the bang fuller and cuter, but I am kind of loving it, feeling a litle bang-tastic.
Reaction to the bangs has been quite positive (with the exception of the hubby, who is on the fence). However, twice in the past two weeks, people commenting on the lovely new bangs took the opportunity to mention that I have a "little" face or a "tiny" face. Is that a compliment? An insult? A statement? I find it so weird, especially since it's not like my whole life people have been talking about how small or tiny my face/head was. I mean, there was a girl I went to college with, who had such a small head in proportion to her body, that several people I know called her "I have a tiny head". And no, you didn't misread that, her secret nickname was actually a statement. And you were supposed to say it in a high pitched cartoon voice. Yes, I know, it's weird. But funny.
So this week at work, Ryan, the cute patootie chick at my lunch place (seriously, she is so my fave cashier that I will not let any of the other cashiers ring me up, even if it means I have to wait) kept going on about how I could rock those bangs because of my small face. And last week this other woman at my office was saying she likes my short hair better than my long hair (My hair is now about shoulder length, and it used to be half way down my back) because my face is SO TINY that short hair suits it better.
But now I am left wondering - do I in fact have a tiny head? Is it freakishly small? Have I been walking around with an undersized head all this time without knowing it? Maybe it just looks small in comparison to my butt, which is as everyone knows, is quite large for my body. :)
A few weeks ago, being inspired by all the girls on Hollywood week of American Idol with these great swishy bangs, I decided I had to get some of my own. So far it's not that easy to get my part to cooperate with the new sideswept bang. My part appears quite hostile about the hair I am trying to borrow from the other side of my head to make the bang fuller and cuter, but I am kind of loving it, feeling a litle bang-tastic.
Reaction to the bangs has been quite positive (with the exception of the hubby, who is on the fence). However, twice in the past two weeks, people commenting on the lovely new bangs took the opportunity to mention that I have a "little" face or a "tiny" face. Is that a compliment? An insult? A statement? I find it so weird, especially since it's not like my whole life people have been talking about how small or tiny my face/head was. I mean, there was a girl I went to college with, who had such a small head in proportion to her body, that several people I know called her "I have a tiny head". And no, you didn't misread that, her secret nickname was actually a statement. And you were supposed to say it in a high pitched cartoon voice. Yes, I know, it's weird. But funny.
So this week at work, Ryan, the cute patootie chick at my lunch place (seriously, she is so my fave cashier that I will not let any of the other cashiers ring me up, even if it means I have to wait) kept going on about how I could rock those bangs because of my small face. And last week this other woman at my office was saying she likes my short hair better than my long hair (My hair is now about shoulder length, and it used to be half way down my back) because my face is SO TINY that short hair suits it better.
But now I am left wondering - do I in fact have a tiny head? Is it freakishly small? Have I been walking around with an undersized head all this time without knowing it? Maybe it just looks small in comparison to my butt, which is as everyone knows, is quite large for my body. :)
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
My Subway & Train Rules, or Why It's Ok for Me to Hit You
I hit someone with my book the other day. He didn't know I hit him, it was more of a tap really, and I did it to his back, but still. It was a guy in the subway station, and he was blocking my way to the staircase. Never before has the path to the subway stairs caused such anger. But now that we are suburban dwellers, we have added the Metro North train to our previous, subway only commute. And because we now have a train that is on a schedule, I MUST MAKE THAT TRAIN. Ok, to be fair, another train will come in like twenty minutes if I don't. But I don't want to wait twenty minutes. I want to take the train I planned on taking, and if you are blocking the subway stairs, I will do things to punish you. Like elbow you, or hit you with a book. I'll do so subtly enough that you wouldn't even realize I did it on purpose. But I did.
I have also extracted this revenge on people that I feel are violating the rules of waiting for the Metro North train. When hubby and I get off the train in the morning at Grand Central, there are already people waiting to get on our train, presumably for their freaky reverse commute to the suburbs (why would you live in the most expensive city possible if you worked in the suburbs???). Most of the people who are waiting for the train will wait at the top of the platform. That's because they are smart enough to realize that a) this train is not leaving the station for at least 10 or 20 minutes b)there are significantly less people waiting for this train than there are seats, so they are obviously going to get the seat they want.
Which brings to mind this question - why do the other half the people waiting for the train charge at it like wild animals, when I am trying to get off the damn platform in the morning? I don't know the answer to that question, but I do know this. I can carry my purse with my arm supporting it, elbow stretched out like I'm doing the teapot dance. And said protruding elbow might just smack at least half of those annoying people in their side when I walk by. Ooops.
Is this a healthy release of my hostility? Not sure. But so far, it's fun.
I have also extracted this revenge on people that I feel are violating the rules of waiting for the Metro North train. When hubby and I get off the train in the morning at Grand Central, there are already people waiting to get on our train, presumably for their freaky reverse commute to the suburbs (why would you live in the most expensive city possible if you worked in the suburbs???). Most of the people who are waiting for the train will wait at the top of the platform. That's because they are smart enough to realize that a) this train is not leaving the station for at least 10 or 20 minutes b)there are significantly less people waiting for this train than there are seats, so they are obviously going to get the seat they want.
Which brings to mind this question - why do the other half the people waiting for the train charge at it like wild animals, when I am trying to get off the damn platform in the morning? I don't know the answer to that question, but I do know this. I can carry my purse with my arm supporting it, elbow stretched out like I'm doing the teapot dance. And said protruding elbow might just smack at least half of those annoying people in their side when I walk by. Ooops.
Is this a healthy release of my hostility? Not sure. But so far, it's fun.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Primordial Dwarves
So I should admit that I have a bit of an obsession. I am fascinated by human difference, in particular, physical human differences. I have watched shows on TLC and Discovery Health about face eating tumors, people with tails, a girl who walks on her hands, a boy whose lower leg is on backwards, a girl born without a face (that one was really upsetting, actually), a guy with hands that looked like trees, a man with half a body, a woman with half a body, a girl with a mermaid like condition, the list goes on and on and on and on. I really think, had I been born in the early part of this century, that I would have frequented circus sideshows. I know, it's really weird.
But of all unique human conditions, my main fascination has always been conjoined twins. Lorrie & Dorrie, Cheng & Eng, and of course my absolute favorites, Abby and Brittany Hensel, pictured at right, the incredibly brave, motivated girls who have a total between them of two arms, two legs, one set of genitalia, and of course, two heads. They are two people, not one, but they, for all intents and purposes, do look like one person. And really, you can spend hours just thinking about all the interesting things about their lives. Like, how they can run and swim and drive a car - all things they very ably do!
However, I think that I have recently found a new human difference that might be even more interesting to me than conjoined twins. And that, ladies and gents, is the human phenomenon of primordial dwarves. These are not your average dwarves, of which I also know a great deal about (is it weird that I want to attend the LPA, or Little People of America, convention?). But these dwarves, of which there are only about 100 in the world, are tiny little miracles. They are the smallest people on earth, and unlike the dwarves you are used to seeing out and about or on shows like "Little People, Big World", these primordial dwarves are proportionate.
The most common form of dwarfism is achondroplasia, and that's what I am referring to when I say the dwarves you are used to seeing - they have larger than average heads and foreheads, regular sized torsos and butts, and then short arms and legs with short, wide hands. Not primordial dwarves. They are more similar to the "midgets" of yore. They pretty much look like people that are shrunk down to tiny size. And when I say tiny size, I mean teeny tiny little sized. I will post some pictures for you below so that you can marvel at their teenyness. As long as you do so in a respectful way. Because I've got to tell you, when I watch these shows, what I am most impressed with is how strong willed and brave most of these people are. Their lives, for one genetic reason are another, are so complicated and different from ours, and yet they make it work.
But of all unique human conditions, my main fascination has always been conjoined twins. Lorrie & Dorrie, Cheng & Eng, and of course my absolute favorites, Abby and Brittany Hensel, pictured at right, the incredibly brave, motivated girls who have a total between them of two arms, two legs, one set of genitalia, and of course, two heads. They are two people, not one, but they, for all intents and purposes, do look like one person. And really, you can spend hours just thinking about all the interesting things about their lives. Like, how they can run and swim and drive a car - all things they very ably do!However, I think that I have recently found a new human difference that might be even more interesting to me than conjoined twins. And that, ladies and gents, is the human phenomenon of primordial dwarves. These are not your average dwarves, of which I also know a great deal about (is it weird that I want to attend the LPA, or Little People of America, convention?). But these dwarves, of which there are only about 100 in the world, are tiny little miracles. They are the smallest people on earth, and unlike the dwarves you are used to seeing out and about or on shows like "Little People, Big World", these primordial dwarves are proportionate.
The most common form of dwarfism is achondroplasia, and that's what I am referring to when I say the dwarves you are used to seeing - they have larger than average heads and foreheads, regular sized torsos and butts, and then short arms and legs with short, wide hands. Not primordial dwarves. They are more similar to the "midgets" of yore. They pretty much look like people that are shrunk down to tiny size. And when I say tiny size, I mean teeny tiny little sized. I will post some pictures for you below so that you can marvel at their teenyness. As long as you do so in a respectful way. Because I've got to tell you, when I watch these shows, what I am most impressed with is how strong willed and brave most of these people are. Their lives, for one genetic reason are another, are so complicated and different from ours, and yet they make it work.
How this blog got its name
The other day I told my husband that my company had announced they were giving out bonuses this year. His response was along these lines (I can't remember his exact quote) "That's so a barbeque!"
I didn't immediately connect the dots on the meaning of his words. I pondered what this unique expression might mean. Hubby grew up in Brooklyn in a fairly urban environment, and as such, has a handful of slang expressions in his bag of phrases that I was not used to when I started dating him. I have adopted most of them quite eagerly as I love new slang (my favorite so far is "dumb" as in very, ex: "the supermarket was DUMB crowded").
So I am like what, is that a new expression? Like "You're getting a raise, that's SO barbeque!" But actually, his mind was just making the immediate leap between the potential of bonus money to buy us a BBQ grill for our backyard. We just moved to a house in the suburbs from an apartment in Brooklyn, so we are very excited about the potential to grill this summer. So excited in fact that hubby has already earmarked my bonus for his need for grilled meat.
Me in the meantime, I am now going around commenting on the coolness of stuff and saying "Wow, you cut bangs? That's so barbeque!"
Just try it. It's fun.
I didn't immediately connect the dots on the meaning of his words. I pondered what this unique expression might mean. Hubby grew up in Brooklyn in a fairly urban environment, and as such, has a handful of slang expressions in his bag of phrases that I was not used to when I started dating him. I have adopted most of them quite eagerly as I love new slang (my favorite so far is "dumb" as in very, ex: "the supermarket was DUMB crowded").
So I am like what, is that a new expression? Like "You're getting a raise, that's SO barbeque!" But actually, his mind was just making the immediate leap between the potential of bonus money to buy us a BBQ grill for our backyard. We just moved to a house in the suburbs from an apartment in Brooklyn, so we are very excited about the potential to grill this summer. So excited in fact that hubby has already earmarked my bonus for his need for grilled meat.
Me in the meantime, I am now going around commenting on the coolness of stuff and saying "Wow, you cut bangs? That's so barbeque!"
Just try it. It's fun.
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