I don't want to see you naked

The move to the suburbs has necessitated the joining of a new gym. In Brooklyn I belonged to a one off gym that was right across the street from my apartment. It was the ultimate convenience, but it wasn't a big gym, like NYSC, which I now belong to. I really like the NYSC, they have huge gyms with a lot of equipment I've never had access to before, like the "evil stairs to nowhere" as I call them, a machine that looks like a simple staircase, but kicks your ass when you try to climb it.

During the week it is too complicated to try and go to the NYSC branch near my house (its about a 5-1o minute drive over there, and as it is, we need to get up before 6:30 am to catch our train). So I have started going to the NYSC near my office. I've never had to spend much time in a gym locker room, since I lived so close to my old gym that I just hung up my coat and went to work out. But now I have to bring a backpack and lock up all my stuff and then shower after I work out before I go to the office.

This has brought on a challenge for me, as I am not a fan of public nudity. The main issue is the towel situation. Besides being scratchy to the point of feeling like loofahs, the towels are impossibly small for covering yourself up. I've seen one trick that many of the women employ that involves tying one towel around the waist like a mini skirt, and then draping the other towel like a scarf over their necks to cover up their boobs. This one is not an option for me, as I happen to have very broad hips and only the largest of towels will actually wrap around my body and also cover my business.

I have come up with a solution that works for me. It involves several steps, including discreetly undressing in a way that exposes little of my body while simultaneously covering myself up with a sarong I keep in my gym bag. Then I carry a plastic bag with my undies and bra in it, along with the key to my locker and two towels. After I dry off in the shower, I cover again with the sarong, go to the bathroom, put on my bra and panties, and then re-cover with the sarong, go unlock my locker and discreetly change into my clothes. I know it sounds complicated and prudish, but really it's quite simple and protects my interest in being modest. And besides, I work less than 4 blocks from this gym. There is a good chance that co-workers might work out here. I saw one chick once that works in the direct mail department. I don't want her to see me naked, and I don't want to see her naked. I would keep covered up just for that purpose even if I loved being nude.

I am also apparently, the only person who believes in such modesty. The towel boob scarf is really the more covered up of the nudity styles I see at the gym. There are several different and disturing variations. There is the lady who wants her bottom business covered, but walks around with her boobs out, even while she is drying her hair. There is the woman who is quite heavyset that wears thong underwear and stands around pantless for longer than seems necessary. There's also the woman who walks to the shower completely nude (actually, there are several of those).

And the craziest I've seen was the girl that was completely naked, and then lifted her leg up onto the bench, which she was doing strangely enough to balance her towel on her leg (just the folded up towel, it wasn't used to cover anything) so she could comb her wet hair completely nude and well, let's face it, a bit on the ahem, exposed side. It was a little much for me. I just don't want to see all these naked strangers. I realize my body issues might make me a little too caught up in not showing off my body, but what's with these people that are naked for longer then necessary for no reason at all? What's that about?

But then again, whenever I find the gym nudity too weird, I just think of what my hubby told me. In his gym, there is a dude that spreads eagle and blow drys his balls. Nuff said.